whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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