That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
