they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
