Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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