clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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