did you get engaged???
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
