FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
