Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
