everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There r osticjed everywhere
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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