how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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