So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
