you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
