singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
it's like iHOP with fire
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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