How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
