Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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