I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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