we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
