we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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