I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
