3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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