I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
