just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
