Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
