After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
