I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
