my vag is so smooth its legendary
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
