Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm at about main and main street
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
