Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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