I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
