he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
