You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
