just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
