She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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