nut hugger
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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