He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
