why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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