don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
