what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize