even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
