i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
