Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
