The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
