what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
