Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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