whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
