I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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