Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
