We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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