u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
