He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
