turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
did i walk over a car last night?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
