He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
