As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
